Half the lady I used to be.

Hello.

This is turning out to be harder right off the top than I thought.  There's something to be said for anonymity.  It lets you not look at various things.  In fact, it lets you pretend there's nothing there to look at.  Combine that with a decent poker face, and an ability to lie to yourself (as well as the ability to shut out any of the 'well meaning' people who try to talk to you about it.  Seriously, you're not helping.), means you can spend a long long time ignoring reality.

So.  Lets remove the lies, and the anonymity and take a good look at my reality.

My name is Diana.

I am 37 years old.

I am 5'0" tall.

I weigh 250 pounds.

I got a call from my Dr's office, asking me to come in to discuss some elevated cholesterol levels.  Now to be completely honest, this doesn't really come as a surprise.  I've been passively avoiding my Drs office for the last 7 or 8 years because I didn't want the bad news (See the above note on lying to yourself and avoiding reality).  I don't see how at my weight and age I couldn't have some cholesterol concerns. My appointment is on Monday, which gives me six days.

Six days for what?  Planning.  Buying supplies. Starting this blog. Deciding what my plan of attack is, and how I'm going to accomplish it.  Because the title of this blog?  It isn't meant to to be demeaning.  Half the lady I used to be is the goal.

At 5'0" and 250lbs, I have a BMI (Body Mass Index) of  49.  This falls well into the morbidly obese category, which is anything above a BMI of 35. Garden variety obese is between 30 and 35.

A healthy BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9 according to the charts. When compared against my height, that's a weight range of 95 to 127 pounds.  Now, I looked at the 95 pounds and nearly cried. I haven't weighed that since I was about 13.

The 127?  That seemed a little more reasonable.  I weighed about 120 through high school before the freshman fifteen ambushed me, and brought friends, family members, family pets, neighbours and anyone else they could find.

So, the goal, and I haven't even come close to coming up with a timeline for it, but the ultimate goal is lose 50% of my body weight and literally become half the lady I am now.

Step one will be talking to my Doctor on Monday and getting the details on the cholesterol.

Step two starts first thing Monday morning, when I take the little journal I'm going to buy this evening (see that bit on supplies) and start recording everything I eat.  What it is, how much of it, and what time of day.  Not just what I should eat, but what I actually do eat.  This is to short circuit the lying to myself about whats actually happening.  If I fall off the wagon and eat a bag of chips it goes on the list.  Not to make me feel guilty, but so I have a record of the cause end of cause and effect.

This blog is going to be where I come to chronicle successes, lament failures, discuss progress and stumbling blocks.  One step at a time.

Wish me strength.
Di